I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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