By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
