I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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