Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
