Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
