let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize