Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
