he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
