Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
