HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
