were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
