i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
