I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
