i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
