i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
