This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
