I hate your face
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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