UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
