One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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