Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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