Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize