no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You are the jesus of drinking
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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