I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
