yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
