ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize