question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
