So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
did i walk over a car last night?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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