I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
