I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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