I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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