I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
third nipple confirmed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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