It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
People in love make me want to vomit
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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