508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I could make wine with my vomit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
