If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
