Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
