The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize