maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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