id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i think my cat just said my name.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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