I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
