We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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