Only a mothe r could love this liver
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
