My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
