I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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