Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
