dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
