I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
