He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
