Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
