eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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