now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
