As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
