I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hippo gnu deer
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
