im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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