Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize