also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
there is puke in my bra ... again
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