So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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