Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
