oh god the rape fog is back!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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