thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
