3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize