Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
