was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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