She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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