Farmville is her only friend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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