Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
